Discover new layers of pleasure and connection with your Sex Deck cards. Shuffle, draw a card, and follow its prompt—solo or with a partner. Explore desires, spark conversation, and deepen intimacy one card at a time. Let curiosity lead the way.
Finding Your Own Compass for Pleasure
True North is referenced on a map to help the person creating or using the map to orient themselves. However, there is no one true north when it comes to sexual experience; no one right way to experience the body, arousal, stimulation, or eroticism. No matter what orientation, gender, ability, or relationship status you are in, you and everyone have the right to experience their body and sexual pleasure when engaged in consenting sexual play (individually and with a partner).
Whatever stage of life you are in and whatever your current sexual understanding may be, you have the right to ask questions and keep seeking sexual knowledge that is informed and accurate.
Disclaimer:
The Sex Deck: Discover Your Erotic Map is not a replacement for therapy.
It is psychoeducational in its basic form.
Seek out a medical professional when experiencing pain during sex.
Gender View:
The Sex Deck: Discover Your Erotic Map invites anyone of any gender, race, ability, orientation, or relationship status to begin their own sexual journey. The card questions are adapted to apply to the greater population from the contemporary views of the original models/approaches.
Before using the cards, consider:
If and how your attractions are gender-based. What is (if any) the difference between your attraction versus your preferences?
To what degree are you masculine-presenting or feminine-presenting?
Deck Instructions
Start your journey to discover your greatest treasure – pleasure! Pick a card, any card, and read the question or invitation. Follow the directions to the extent you desire. You will find statements about how you might react to various sexual situations, activities, or behaviors. When you read a question card, don’t think too long before answering; give your first reaction.
The cards found in the Sex Deck: Discover Your Erotic Map are designed to be explored in the privacy of your own space. If another person is present, confirm consent from all people present.
There are a total of 56 cards broken into 7 categories based on 7 evidence-based Sex Therapy Models (3 additional models were used to form the framework for the development of the card deck). Each category has 8 cards. Each card has a color tab on it to indicate from which model the question is being derived. The color key is as follows:
Note: The purple tabbed cards (Klein Sexual Orientation Grid – KSOG) DO need to be completed together. The eight cards in this category make up a series of questions to guide you to fill out the chart found on one of the eight cards of that model.
KSOG Instructions
First, identify to what degree you are masculine or feminine presenting. Then answer the questions on the remaining seven KSOG (purple tabbed) cards.
Beginning with your past, ask yourself where you fit on the provided scale and select the number that best describes you.
For the “present” column, select one year as the time period you consider when filling out the chart provided.
For the “ideal” column, consider what you would choose to be if it were a matter of choice.
Each column does not have to match each other in the number scale selection.
Your number selection will be based on the provided scale. (Klein, 2014, p. 341-346)
Other sex/hetero only
Other sex/hetero mostly
Other sex/hetero somewhat more
Both sexes/hetero-gay equally
Same-sex/gay somewhat more
Same-sex/gay mostly
Same-sex/gay only
Fritz Klein reminds us that, “we shouldn’t confuse who we really are with limiting views and labels which create feelings of isolation and alienation. Let us celebrate our uniqueness, our individual sexuality, sensuality, and intimacy with our loved ones no matter what our sexual orientation turns out to be.” – Klein, 2014, p.346
The KSOG Chart
Vocabulary
Consent: Non-negotiable and may be revoked at any time. Respecting consent is the fundamental rule and safe boundary that all who use these cards must follow.
Erection: Occurs in the clitoris and the penis (both have erectile tissue), creating a firm form when the tissue becomes dilated with blood.
Orgasm: When a person reaches peak pleasure. The body releases tension, and the perineal muscles, anal sphincter, and reproductive organs rhythmically contract.
Sexual Arousal: Feelings of sexual excitement like feeling sexually stimulated, horny, hot temperature, or turned on.
Vagina: The birth canal.
Vulva: The vulva is the external part of the female genitalia, and it includes many parts that are important for sexual and reproductive health. The vulva’s skin folds, called the labia majora and labia minora, appear to cover or wrap the vulva.
Other parts of the vulva include:
Clitoris: Has 8,000 nerve endings (more than the penis) and is a sensitive piece of tissue that swells with blood when stimulated.
Prepuce: A hood of skin formed by the inner folds of the vulva that covers the clitoris.
Fourchette: The place where the labia minora meet at the bottom of the inner folds of the vulva.
Perineum: Part of the vulva that ends at the anus.
Mons pubis: A fleshy mound above the vulva that cushions the pubic bone and is covered with pubic hair after puberty.
